The Old Guard is a new movie on Netflix, that overall could have been a very enjoyable time waster of an action movie. The plot like most movies is silly in real life but this is the movies so logic be damned. It was a action movie that didn't appear to be trying to take itself too seriously on the surface.
I admit that for most of the movie I found myself somewhat invested in the characters and the overall premise of if you were immortal how would you spend that time and would you leave the world with a net good or bad based on your actions. Plus some really good fight scenes. Although my one pet peeve is that like far too many movies these days it's always some hyper amazing woman that is able to beat up dozens or hundreds of highly trained MALE bad guys. No matter how many times I see this I can't get my head around why people would believe it, but I digress.
So why did I give this movie a thumbs down and why am I here complaining about it? It's gay… yeah literally due to the two gay guys in the movie. I don't give a shit if you're gay, be gay, suck all the dick you want. I just don't care, I mean I literally don't care, so why must you always insist on telling me how gay you are and why being gay is so great? Because if it's so great why do you always feel the need to tell everyone how great it is? Why not just live your life and let other people do the same.
In this movie two of the main male characters are gay and have been together for centuries etc… and they profess their undying love for each other and truthfully, who cares? It has adds nothing to the story, it doesn't further the narrative in any possible way. It's very awkward when it's squeezed into a scene that it doesn't belong in and at the end of the day you end up looking back at the movie and thinking why did they jam that in there?
The whole point of trying to put LGB characters into movies is trying to portray them as just other people going about their lives. Which begs the question why do so many LGB characters in movies appear to be laughable stereotypes of gay people?
Without those two gay dudes I likely would have given this movie a thumbs up and a solidy 8 out of 10 on the mindless fun meter, because of them it gets a 3.
Job well done LGB activists…. now piss off and leave me alone.